Be kind to everyone you meet; you never know what they might be battling.
This is the quote that’s run through my mind every day throughout the past year. What many might not know is that I’ve battled an internal monster. During a recent training session, someone asked me what I could possibly have overcome at such a young age. I laughed, knowing that I’ve conquered profound obstacles and collected unexpected experiences as a result of battling an internal monster – cancer. Just two hours prior to being asked this question, I had been undergoing another round of treatment. Even as this person spoke to me, challenging my statements about having struggled, I was actively fighting against dizziness, a common side effect after spending so much time standing to facilitate.
This is why I know just how important it is to be kind – even when people are able to laugh through their pain or find silver linings in their darkest days. It doesn’t mean they aren’t being challenged.
I’m currently facing radiation treatment for my cancer.
And along the way, I’ve been blessed to find laughter and joy among others, even when they didn’t know what I was going through. So many have stood by me and uplifted my spirits without ever knowing what I was facing – doesn’t that make you wonder how often you might be able to do that for others? While only my closest circle of relatives and friends were informed of my diagnosis, my unknowing counterparts continue to bring me strength along the way.
Before radiation began, I anticipated a sort of war between me (my body and brain) and cancer. So far, the cancer has lived up to my expectations by giving me a war, but it’s one I fully intend to win. What continues to fuel me is my ability to laugh with others, enjoy conversations about current events, argue over the Super Bowl and March Madness, and chuckle at life’s mysteries. The scary part about sharing my diagnosis is that people tend to feel they can’t share belly laughs or friendly debates with people who have cancer. But I’d like to challenge that narrative.
At first, I decided to move forward without the public dialog of my cancer.
Ironically, I began radiation on March 1, 2022, otherwise known as Fat Tuesday of Mardi Gras. But iI didn’t exactly feel like I had as much to celebrate as the rest of the world did. I didn’t want to force others to digest what I was struggling with, so I simply didn’t tell them. I didn’t want to be treated differently, so I avoided sharing my news. But what I quickly learned is that kindness from others was one of the best ways to feel a little bit better each day. Random acts of kindness (belly laughs, joyful encounters, and polite hellos) were the very things that made my day, and since nobody knew about my diagnosis, I knew these things came from a place of pure kindness.
I refuse to be a cancer victim.
Instead, I am a cancer striver. I simply see it as another challenge, an opportunity for growth, a lesson in appreciation. I once had a boss who thought I was too humble; this provides strength as I walk in the shadow of our almighty God. As I researched, I found a number of celebrities had walked journeys similar to mine. R&B singer Charlie Wilson has a song called “I’m Blessed,” which has been my self proclaimed theme song for years, and now, it’s my battle song. As I fight, this song provides me strength during my weakest moments.
My radiation chapter…
I’ve chosen to impose a few strict rules for myself as I face a new chapter, these rules include t a vegan lifestyle. Over the past year, I’ve had the opportunity to focus on giving back to my community, which has provided me with true happiness. From now on, whenever something gets in my way of enjoying this gift called life, I think of this quote from the movie The Best Man, and I encourage you to do the same: “I guess I’m supposed to be miserable? Nobody desires misery; it was just your turn now!” – Terrance Howard
I guess it was just my turn.
